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Flavor of the week
Everyone's making a Dot Cake right now.
The trend is everywhere. Savory, sweet, even cottage cheese versions.
So you know I had to do one in the Creami.
It starts with a birthday cake Creami base, but the real separator here is the type of sprinkles.
They're called nonpareils.
Those tiny little round sprinkles you see on the actual Dot Cakes.
One tip: after you add them on top, freeze for 5 minutes.
They harden up and the crunch is way better that way.
If you really want to take it to the next level, throw my low-calorie ganache on before the sprinkles.
Let me know how it stacks up.
Rapid Reviews
David Protein Ice Cream is all anyone is asking me about this week.
According to their website, they sold out in 28 minutes.
The hype is real.
The ice cream is not.
Look, it's not bad. But there are so many better options out there.
Protein Pints is better. Frozen One is better. The Target store brand is better.
The only thing no one touches them on is macros.
Basically half the calories and still 30 grams of protein.
But that's where the good stuff stops…
The aftertaste is very artificial.
My parents hate artificial sweeteners. They would've spit this out.
The texture looked creamy, and it felt creamy, but when you eat it, it's a little grainy.
And at $15 a pint, none of that is acceptable.
I wouldn't buy it for $7.
If you want the macros, eat half a pint of Protein Pints and drink a protein shake.
Same numbers, tastes better, and costs less.
The verdict:
6.1/10
Find it or forget it. Up to you.
In the Lab
So how does David pull off those macros?
Because I'll be honest, those numbers shouldn't be possible.
And for every other company...they actually aren't.
It's because of a little thing called EPG.
Short for Esterified Propoxylated Glycerol, EPG is a plant-based fat substitute that mimics the texture of real fat.
Normal fat has 9 calories per gram.
EPG has 0.7.
That's a 92% reduction.
It's genuinely one of the most useful diet food innovations in years.
But here's the problem:
In 2025, David bought the company that makes EPG…
And then locked everyone else out.
Nick's Ice Cream used it. Hormbles used it. Own Your Hunger. Gatsby Chocolate.
A lot of these companies built their entire product around EPG.
Some are still around, but their trajectory changed overnight.
The big impact is David made the world less healthy…so they could make more money.
That's the part that's hard to get past.
The macros are real. The innovation is real.
But it's locked up by the one company that won't share it.
So if you ask me, you shouldn't support them.
If you want protein ice cream, grab a different brand.
Or just buy a Ninja Creami and make your own. Compared to a $15 pint, you're making your money back in a few weeks.
Want more low calorie, high protein Ninja Creami recipes like these? Get my books. 243 recipes across 4 books, $49.99 for the complete bundle.
